The Tech Shock Podcast - Roxy and Gay Longworth
10 Jan, 2023
2 minute read

The Tech Shock Podcast - Roxy and Gay Longworth

Vicki and Geraldine are joined this week by mother and daughter Gay and Roxy Longworth, co-authors of ‘When You Lose It’. The book details their experiences of what happened when Roxy, then aged 13, was coerced (and later blackmailed) into sharing explicit images of herself.

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Geraldine introduces the book as “harrowing” but, at the same time, says it “raises some really interesting questions”. Vicki elaborates, believing that ‘When You Lose It’ offers a lived experience view of themes we’ve already encountered in this season of Tech Shock – especially Damon de Ionno’s discussion of nude image sharing. 

Roxy and Gay are praised for recounting their own personal experiences so honestly and unflinchingly. From a mother’s perspective, Gay continues, one of the hardest things to know is what are regular ‘adolescent dramas’ (which should be let go), and what things really do need addressing. 

Vicky finds it fascinating how children – in this case, Roxy – can understand the risks of sharing personal images, but nevertheless go on to do it. Roxy clarifies her mentality at the time, describing the power imbalance between her and older boys at school. While teens are told not to send photos, she says, they’re not told how to recognise unhealthy relationships and coercion. 

Roxy then recalls her school threatening to call the police due to the images she sent; an instance of victim-blaming which pushed her further into despair, anxiety, and eventually, psychosis. The group note that if the school had followed through on this threat, then perhaps, ironically, the situation might have been resolved quicker.

Gay ends by describing the conflict between young people trying to carve out independence and the co-dependent relationship between parent and child. Her advice? Find someone who can act as a go-between when this dynamic gets difficult: parents don’t need to do everything.

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Next week Vicki and Geraldine talk to Senior Digital Policy Officer at Manchester City Council, Kira Allman about digital inequality, and how we are prone to misunderstand the ‘digital divide’.

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